Sassy commentator on music, art, and culture.


DATE:  Friday, May 10 at 10:00pm
COST: $30
DEPARTED THE SHOW FEELING: WTF, Rhye? I’m not paying good money to do it with the lights off.

Oh, Rhye. You make me so sad. And not “wow that really moved me in a deep, intellectual, and emotional” sort of shit kind of way. You make me sad because you have no idea who you are or what you’re doing.

What you do have in check:

1. gorgeous and concise, fully realized tracks on your debut release.

2. a sweet touring band that is developed and includes woodwinds, horns, and strings. YES!

What you have that is just wrong wrong wrong:

1. where are the fucking lights??!!!!

Look. I get it. Your music is moody and you want to be mysterious. But your audience is paying to SEE YOU. And if we can’t have the pleasure of looking at you, then give us SOMETHING to feast our eyes on. Milosh- we can see your silhouette dancing about the stage. We HEAR you when you’re talk to us in a very “hey bro, what’s up?” sort of way. But we can’t. SEE. shit. How are we supposed to connect with the entirety of your performance if we are given nothing to look at but your boney ass shadow? If we wanted to listen to you in total darkness, with nothing even remotely to look at, then I would have put on the album in my living room and drank a glass of cheap wine. I would have saved a whole $30.

2. if you’re not going to let us see you, then don’t talk to me!

If you’re going the whole mysterious route, then fine. Commit to that shit. Don’t try to talk to us as if we can connect back to you, see your facial expressions or know that right now you’re delivering a line in which you want your audience to laugh at. It doesn’t work that way. Are you try to be “full of mystery and wonder”? Or are you trying to build a relationship with people who are still debating on whether or not they wanna buy your album since they can listen to it for free all fucking day on Spotify. Make a decision and stick with it.

3. ULTIMATE SIN: Confessing that you don’t have enough tracks to fill an entire headlining set.

Have you ever heard of the phrase “just go with it?” Or “act like you know what you’re doing even if you have no clue?” (maybe I just sort of paraphrased those, but you get it) Mid-set Milosh announced TO THE AUDIENCE that it was “awkward because you (the audience) bought tickets to see us but we don’t have a lot of songs right now. So we are going to just improvise, and give you extended versions of the tracks.” Um, what? Did you really JUST say that? How about you shut your mouth and just DO IT. When you’re making love to someone for the first time, you don’t stop mid way and say “hey so uh, I’ve only done this once before and I’m not very good. So I’m going to put my hand here and maybe kiss your neck for 25 minutes.” No one can dispute some good neck action, but I don’t wanna be TOLD that’s what you’re going to do. JUST DO IT.

If this is the first post you’ve read of mine, I’m usually this dramatic (although I think it’s pretty valid). But I was PISSED. With ALL that being said, the band did sound fucking good. But there was no physical connection made. When I go to a show, I want to be consumed. That includes equal parts visual and auditory. Rhye is not unworthy of the hype, but get your shit together. Figure out who and what you are and then come back to me.

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